7 Years

Today is our 7 year wedding anniversary. It is also week 38 of our pregnancy. Both of which have simply flown by. I never would have thought that 7 years from our wedding day we would be where we are now.

On May 5th, we had our baby shower. My mom, sisters and close friends helped throw it for Coulton and me. It was such a beautiful celebration, a day that I have been dreaming of for a very long time, long before I was married. Many family and friends came, men and women, and showed us so much love and support. After a few years of trying to get pregnant, I told myself that Coulton would be a part of the baby shower celebration if we ever had one; I couldn't dare leave him out of such a wonderful time after he had been through the same heartache and struggle.

Just days after our baby shower, we packed up and moved to Boise, Idaho for a job Coulton received. There have been many things that I have learned during our trials, but if one thing's for sure- Heavenly Father's hand is in every aspect of our lives and he cares about every detail. By us moving to Idaho and Coulton receiving this work position, I am going to be able to stay home and care for our baby. This has always been a dream and a goal of mine and we are so thankful.


As I flew away on an airplane from Phoenix to Boise, I couldn't help but think about the many people who showed us so much love, compassion and support in the 2 life changing years we lived there. I also waved goodbye to our 4 strong frozen embryos that are waiting for us should we not be able to get pregnant again on our own. Phoenix was just a stop on the way to where we were going, but we are eternally indebted to so many people who changed our lives forever.


Boise is home to us now. We absolutely love it here! As we celebrated our anniversary yesterday exploring a small town in western Idaho, Coulton and I mentioned all the fun things that we are going to be able to do with our son once he's here- camping, fishing, hiking, swimming, rafting, hunting. Everything we did, we mentioned how much fun it will be once he's here and we can include him in on our adventures.

A couple of weeks ago, I cried to Coulton that I didn't want to have our baby so soon. I wanted to be pregnant longer. I have this worry that I may never be pregnant again, that this might be the only time it happens for us and I didn't want it to be over. Just days after feeling this way, baby boy must have grew a lot because I became very uncomfortable, not being able to breathe or sit or stand or sleep or bend over or lie down. I think our son was telling me, "Mommy, you do want me to come, right? I want to be with you and Daddy. Here, I'll show you." So yes, now I certainly want him here. But that fear still lingers in my mind that it may never happen for us again, so I am trying to soak in every second I have with him inside of me, trying to remember every special moment.

Here's to another year of eternity with my husband and to waiting 2-3 more weeks for our sweet miracle baby! Goodness, gracious does God have perfect timing. Sometimes, I have to look back into the past to realize that He has answered my prayers. But He has answered them. Always. In His time. In His way. Over the last 7 years, I've rarely been happy about His time or His way, but looking back now, I wouldn't change one single aspect of this terrible trial of infertility.