Our Birth Story

I have decided to record Kurt's birth story instead of writing it.

7 Years

Today is our 7 year wedding anniversary. It is also week 38 of our pregnancy. Both of which have simply flown by. I never would have thought that 7 years from our wedding day we would be where we are now.

On May 5th, we had our baby shower. My mom, sisters and close friends helped throw it for Coulton and me. It was such a beautiful celebration, a day that I have been dreaming of for a very long time, long before I was married. Many family and friends came, men and women, and showed us so much love and support. After a few years of trying to get pregnant, I told myself that Coulton would be a part of the baby shower celebration if we ever had one; I couldn't dare leave him out of such a wonderful time after he had been through the same heartache and struggle.

Just days after our baby shower, we packed up and moved to Boise, Idaho for a job Coulton received. There have been many things that I have learned during our trials, but if one thing's for sure- Heavenly Father's hand is in every aspect of our lives and he cares about every detail. By us moving to Idaho and Coulton receiving this work position, I am going to be able to stay home and care for our baby. This has always been a dream and a goal of mine and we are so thankful.


As I flew away on an airplane from Phoenix to Boise, I couldn't help but think about the many people who showed us so much love, compassion and support in the 2 life changing years we lived there. I also waved goodbye to our 4 strong frozen embryos that are waiting for us should we not be able to get pregnant again on our own. Phoenix was just a stop on the way to where we were going, but we are eternally indebted to so many people who changed our lives forever.


Boise is home to us now. We absolutely love it here! As we celebrated our anniversary yesterday exploring a small town in western Idaho, Coulton and I mentioned all the fun things that we are going to be able to do with our son once he's here- camping, fishing, hiking, swimming, rafting, hunting. Everything we did, we mentioned how much fun it will be once he's here and we can include him in on our adventures.

A couple of weeks ago, I cried to Coulton that I didn't want to have our baby so soon. I wanted to be pregnant longer. I have this worry that I may never be pregnant again, that this might be the only time it happens for us and I didn't want it to be over. Just days after feeling this way, baby boy must have grew a lot because I became very uncomfortable, not being able to breathe or sit or stand or sleep or bend over or lie down. I think our son was telling me, "Mommy, you do want me to come, right? I want to be with you and Daddy. Here, I'll show you." So yes, now I certainly want him here. But that fear still lingers in my mind that it may never happen for us again, so I am trying to soak in every second I have with him inside of me, trying to remember every special moment.

Here's to another year of eternity with my husband and to waiting 2-3 more weeks for our sweet miracle baby! Goodness, gracious does God have perfect timing. Sometimes, I have to look back into the past to realize that He has answered my prayers. But He has answered them. Always. In His time. In His way. Over the last 7 years, I've rarely been happy about His time or His way, but looking back now, I wouldn't change one single aspect of this terrible trial of infertility.

Marvelous in Our Eyes

From the Book of Mormon- Mormon, Chapter 9

15 ...and God has not ceased to be a God of miracles.

16 Behold, are not the things that God hath wrought marvelous in our eyes? Yea, and who can comprehend the marvelous works of God?

Every time I feel our baby move, every time I walk past a mirror (or a shiny car, or an oven door, or a window- anything that shows my reflection), every time I drive by the I-51 (the 15 miles of highway that led us to our IVF doctor), every time I buy a new blue onesie (because I simply could not resist), every time I open the fridge that still has a shelf full of shots we didn't have to use, every time I stop in my tracks and shake my head still unable to comprehend that I have a precious baby growing inside of me, every grateful prayer offered, I am more and more certain that Moroni was right- God indeed has NOT ceased to be a God of miracles. And we have proof- 

Our baby boy at 5 days old.

Our baby boy at 21 weeks old.

Me holding our Miracle.

I literally cannot comprehend these marvelous works of God, but we are sure grateful for them.

Who will You be?

Our dearest Son,

I hope you have some inkling of how much Daddy & Mommy love you, because our hearts could burst for you. When we found out you were a little boy last Friday, we were so surprised and so, so happy! I can't believe a little boy is growing inside of me. 

Do you remember that you were the strongest one, son? You made it through the doctor probing and prodding at you, then freezing you for 2 months, then thawing you, then probing and prodding at you some more. And you are the one who found your way through Mommy's uterus to find your temporary home. Thank you honey, thank you for being so strong. 

Daddy & Mommy ponder who you will be when you get here to earth. You will probably like trucks and balls and farm animals. You will probably like skateboards and snowboards and hunting. I think about your teenage years- prom, driving, dating, seminary, passing the sacrament. Daddy mentioned that he's looking forward to helping you get your Eagle Scout. I've already had a ting of pain thinking about sending you away on your mission. Where will you serve? I think about your wedding day. Who will you marry?

Never forget that Daddy & Mommy have loved you from the very first day when the nurse told us they were able to retrieve 26 eggs from Mommy's ovaries. You were 1 of those 26. You, our little 5 inch miracle. Our little boy who wiggles around so much during every ultrasound. You, who has little arms and legs, and a spine and a strong heartbeat.

Mommy can't fit into any of her pants anymore. Every time the nurse takes my weight, she mumbles "this is always the worst part, the part every woman hates..." No, this is not the worst part. I love this part. Weight means you're growing. Weight means that everything Daddy & Mommy have gone through the past 6 1/2 years for you has worked. When the nurse had to knock the scale up to the next notch, I couldn't help but smile. Weight means you are here, you are real, you are ours. You are our little growing boy.

Sweet baby boy, know that Daddy & Mommy pray for you every day. We read and sing to you. Mommy worries so much for you. Please keep growing. Stay strong. For now, stay snug deep down inside of Mommy, who loves you more than you will ever comprehend. 

Love,

Daddy & Mommy